Ever wanted to ask Uncle Joker what he thinks about global warming? Or maybe you're in need of some dating advice? Or maybe you have some nasty cranberry juice stains on your carpet and no idea how to get rid of them? Now's your chance, bub! The Joker is here for you, so lavish me with your mundane problems, doubts, uncertainties and insecurities!
I strongly advise against:
1) Asking me about some Harley Whatsherface.
2) Asking me to impregnate you.
3) Offering to impregnate me.
4) Assuming I'm some other guy. When in doubt, look at the picture above. I'm the guy in the picture. There are even arrows pointing to my face, to help you make the connection.
5) Sending me anonymous come-ons. There's no point in being anonymous. I know it's you, Batman. It's just not gonna work.
6) Asking me about anything relating to my sexuality. Sex makes more people, and it offends me on a professional level, since I strive to make, uh, less people. Duh.
7) Asking me about my favorite song/band/book/colonoscopy method/whatever. Just don't.
8) Complaining about me not answering your question right this second. I'm often busy, you know, killing people or helping my henchmen fill out their tax reports.
9) Not reading the FAQ. Seriously, don't not read the FAQ. Read it.
10) Sending me questions through fan mail when the ask box is closed. I'm not answering those.
If you do any of these things, your question will probably remain unanswered, and you will look ridiculous. Even more than you already do, I mean.
Before you ask me anything, do yourself a solid and click the big red smiley FAQ above this text to check if it hasn't been answered yet.
Closed for now!
Yeah, there are times in everyone’s life when we just need to kick back and reestablish the connection with our center so we can fall in love with our passions all anew. Here’s what I do whenever I hit the murder plateau phase.
It’s the most accurate depiction of Batman I have ever seen. Kudos to the writers.
I’m afraid I haven’t seen it, so I guess my feelings about it are as nonexistent as Batman’s diction.
Oh, it was fun. Loved the tax breaks.
The real question is how the hell am I not a Disney princess yet?
Stole? Please. Have you seen me wearing it?That thing was practically made for me. I just took what was rightfully mine.
(I’m wearing it right now)
If Batman dies then I don’t know, I guess I’ll finally have time to try to keep up with the Kardashians.
He doesn’t speak to you? From one girl to another, a guy is supposed to be seen, not heard. Tell him he’s doing great.